Lulz for Miley Cyrus.

I just found this beauty on the internet. Possibly the least rock and roll thing ever. Way to go Miley! I was tempted to photoshop Green Day & Chad Kroeger in there jamming with the suspiciously camp guy in the background. Your brains would probably implode though with cringyness.

Remember Kids,

"After an atomic air-burst the danger of radiation and falling debris is over in about a minute and a half."

An actual line taught to those crazy 50's kid's during the height of the Red Scare with the immanent threat of a nuclear fall out. While scowering the depths of youtube i found this beautiful treasure of a PSA,

Our Cities must fight!

Here we see two true American Newsman shooting down anyone of the "take to the hills" fraternity. Why would you run when a Nuclear bomb is going to hit? Cause if you do, the commies win, and we don't want that, do we Jimmy?

The hilarity comes when the moustached power man decides the only fit treatment for anyone planning on fleeing is treason. How dare you not become a flesh eating zombie when the bombs fall! ITS THE AMERICAN WAY.

Worst piece of advice possible for an atomic fallout?

Well obviously you haven't seen Burt the turtle's PSA on Duck & Cover.

Yes kids, Nuclear bomb strikes? No Problemo! just jump under the desk and wrap a newspaper over the back of your neck, hell its gonna get pretty hot out there. This PSA suggests that a blanket will stop the effects of nuclear radiation, falling debris, shockwaves and the like. It scarily reminds me of that thing i used to do as a kid, Y'know "I CAN'T SEE YOU, YOU DON'T EXIST". A timeless strategy.

Im so thankful for British logic.

U-S-A! U-S-A!

Gotta conquer Asia.

Nearly the end of Half term eh?

I wont admit it was the most exciting of holidays, just a bit relaxed (I'm still in a dressing gown at the time of writing, Woo!) But anyway point is i've had time to reflect on where i am in life and whats gonna be happening in the near future. Sounds super exciting yeh?!

Firstly I really need to pick up the pace work wise, i know I've made excuses so far which kind of account for it, Living in the middle of nowhere & having no actual area to work on other than in my bed. The Key point of it however is the frame of mind I'm in. The Gordian's knot of laziness and self interest. I know its going to be a tough knot to crack and one that will ultimately be well worth the effort but still bleeeeh. Actually Gordian's knot is a bad example, apparently unbreakable although if i do, i can conquer Asia according to Wiki.

HOWEVER I want to do this and get my life on track. That's why Geography is going to be conquered straight after this.

Secondly i need to sort out friends and stuff. I don't think i appreciate you guyz enough. High 5 yourselves for being awesome k.

I need to find maa self a Woman for maa sammichs as well, however, that one can wait a while.

(I'm not a sexist, I'm just terrible at sammich making.)

Career aspects for the future are also looming round the corner which ties in with working harder and deciding to drop a subject next year. Eng Lit Vs. Maths, its a toughie.

Hmm, before i do all this however, i kind of need to put some pants on. Talk to you guys later!

xxx

PS. for some good ol' fashioned LuLz, Don't copy that floppy.

Corvettes, Whiskey covered with a plastic Glamour.

Woah, Just watched another episode of Mad Men.

American 50's/early 60's were so Swish dontcha think? feck it, you could smoke when you were pregnant and no one would give a good god damn (doesn't mean it's a smart thing btw), everyone drove round in their stylish Corvettes and Bobby D was radio play for the masses whilst the rat pack filled out the concert halls of New York. The films of the period remind us that everyone spoke with a nice "Good golly!" when shocked, a stark contrast to the "Sh*t C*ck Wallop" you hear today. Sure in the background McCarthy was going commie on all Hollywood/Government's arses and Racism was an accepted Norm but Nothing is perfect.

I've probably just fallen in love with this crazy romanticised version portrayed in Mad Men of skinny suits and a glass of whiskey, yet it still seems a far better reality than the current climate of Terrorism, Broken Families, Political Correctness and health and bloody safety. A fake plastic veil seems to cover the face of today's society, a tarnished and scratched one that wont decompose for the next 500 years, Dang your environmental impact Plastic!

I dunno i could make a list to the four corners of the world of the pro's and con's of Today Vs. Then. Buttt y'know we've both got places to be, people to see.

Goodbye Blog, i need to go buy a skinny suit. xxx

Afternoon all,

Just to set an awkward tone for the rest of today's blog,

here's my terrible joke!

What did one Snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrots!

Now your probably wondering who is to blame for that so it's only right that I introduce myself.

Hi, pleased to meet you, My name is Jack Crawley. A grumpy old man trapped in a teenager's body with a backdrop of Merry Ol' England. Studying is such a pain, especially when you do English Lit, Maths, Geography and Geology. The four subjects of the apocalypse. Btw i know your laughing at the geology but it rocks, yeah? (You can hit me for that joke).

Wow i know how to sell myself to an audience.

Now that the pleasantries are over, i better get on rambling.

2009 was a funny old year wasn't it? Full of wonders and mysteries, If we weren't succumbing to the media frenzy/scare that was pigs flying in the past tense (Swine Flu), crying our eyes out over Michael Jackson, trying to work out the logic of a peace prize for Obama. We were being forced to watch the gruelling relationship woe's of Katie Bloody Price, a menace far worse than the previously mentioned Swine flu and one that is still a Newspaper pandemic today.

that skidmark of respect that i still had left for her dissapeared yesterday with the headline

"I only married Alex for the money" on the front page of the Daily Star. Apparently quoted from that horizontal plastic vagina shaped mouth of Price's. This whole continuing facade of Eastender's politics of "SHE SAID WHA?!" hasn't got me concerned about Andre, the kids or god forbid Katie's polo clubhouse respect. It's more got me worried about the state of Britain's intellect. You can't have a fire without oxygen right? If Katie is the Firey thrush pain in our countrie's crotch, then we the public are the Teen putting off treatment. (If can understand that, well done). But anyway point is, if we keep buying the Red-Tops, we fuel the War machine, we want to know about what she said next, we want to know how badly one can mess up their relationships, just so we can make our own lives feel slightly better.

Do we really need it? Naaaaah.

But at the end of the day did she actually say that? Probably. Why? Not because it was true, but because it gives her an income. Katie knows how to play the country for her own self interest, She understands our craving for being only slightly better than the person next door and exploits it with surprising skill. I can't believe im saying this...She's smart.

"Who Is more the fool? the fool or the fool who follows the fool?" Well summarised Ben Kenobi.

Anyway rant over,

Three cheers go to my friend Natalie for getting me blogging again, I owe her a wolf picture!

Night bbz. xxx

Ps. Sorry for how rushed and rubbish this was but it can only get better!